Lonely Girl Amnesia: When settling seems like the only option

For as long as I've been living in Florida, I have always considered Halloween to be the first day of Fall.

(I can probably thank all of my memories of freezing my butt off on Halloween night by wearing some cute, but slightly skimpy, "costume" for that).

So seeing that it is Halloween, the nights are getting cooler, the winds have really begun to blow, and women are becoming unmistakably desperate.

We have Cuffing Season to blame for this sudden change of attitude.

During this time of year, women are desperate for the following:

• Male attention
• A man to sleep with at night
• A man to spend the upcoming winter with
• A man

All in all, the cold weather makes women feel as though their comforter, along with that hot cup of tea, isn't enough to keep them warm anymore; and so the hunt for another willing, warm body begins.

It probably doesn't help that this time of year, more and more couples come from backstage and display their love front and center, awaiting their applause from the crowd for finding someone just as desperate as they are. 

(Not taking into consideration that the audience they are preforming for have been in the crowd since curtain call and witnessed the breakups, cheating scandals, and relentless amounts of "I love him. I hate him." facebook statuses).

How is it that a woman can be wrong about the same man so many different times but always in the same way?

This disorder is called: Lonely Girl Amnesia.

When a woman conveniently forgets all of the drama, bad experiences, and differences that occurred between her and a guy because of the need to feel better about choosing to be with someone over being alone.

I've seen this disorder countless amount of times disguised as "things are just complicated with us" from women who claim to not be settling but instead, trying to "work things out".

The more women who use these excuses, the more women who become content with settling.

The reason people date is to find someone who they are compatible with, not to find someone who you would be willing to tolerate throughout the winter cold.

We need to go back to the old days where settling isn't the new "relationship status" and where tolerating isn't the new happy.

If you want to be in a relationship with a good man then wait for that good man.

Use the waiting period as an opportunity to spend time with yourself.

Many women don't consider being alone as an option which is why they either jump at the first male opportunity or back track to the past.

The past is in the past for a reason. You don't want your prince charming to walk right by you because your relationship status is secretly screaming SETTLING.

Time is of the essence and so is waiting on a good man.

A Menace to Society: When a Forever 21 dress gives the wrong signal

The other night I met this guy at an after the club, after party.

My low cut form fitting dress provided enough entertainment for those looking for a show and he made it clear that he wanted the best seat in the house. We exchanged numbers and decided to meet up at Blue Martini the next night to bring in his birthday.

(I was bored)

I meet him there, he buys me drinks and introduces me to his friends. My black shorts and flowey pink half top were perfect for such a relaxed occassion and the night was going smoothly until we began dancing.

With us being at Blue Martini, there aren't too many ways to dance to the constant techno and house music that is played: so the dancing was strictly "lets just have a good time" dancing until he began with the touching.

Throughout the rest of the night, all he did was feel on me. On my breast, my legs, my back and anywhere else that was in arms reach.

There was not one song that played where I wasn't slapping his hand, yelling in his ear to "just chill", or making up a "wow I'm so hot! I need a break from dancing" excuse just so we can get some distance between each other.

I began thinking of every tactic on "How to get out of a bad date" known to women all over the globe but I kept falling short of a believable lie.

I took a bathroom break and explained my dilemma to a woman waiting in line with me. After denying her suggestion of leaving through the back exit, she then told me that she would even pretend to be my sickly, half-dying friend that I just HAD to take home right at this second.

I felt so bad about lying that I just sucked it up and told him that I was getting tired and was going to head out.

A simple lie will always get the job done.

I never heard from him again (after a good two weeks of screening his phone calls) and I blamed the black dress that I was wearing, when we first met, on the way he treated me.

In a world where Forever 21 dictates what's new in fashion and conservative dresses can be found in the "Misses" section in Sears; women aren't left with too many options when it comes to picking an outfit for the club.

So the dresses that rise as you walk, giving your booty cheeks a little breeze, are all that's left to wear to the club which in turn, attracts these types of men.

The type of man that leaves no room for "Maybe."

Maybe he likes me.
Maybe he wants to get to know me.
Maybe he just wants to sleep with me.
Maybe he's looking for a good time.

This type of man makes it clear from the beginning that sex is the only thing that he wants and the only value of interest to him.

So who's to blame?

The man for being blunt and going after what he wants?

Or Forever 21 for making all of the cute dresses come with booty cheek visibility?