Researching the past: What needs to be done before pursuing the relationship

When buying a used car, getting the cars' Carfax report beforehand can make you feel confident about spending your money on that car.

A Carfax is a vehicles history report from a nationwide database. It basically tells you where your car has been and if it is even worth buying.

After discussing this logic of doing your research before committing yourself to a car, I applied it to relationships.

A friend of mine decided to call it "Hoe Fax" but for the sake of not calling anyone a "hoe," we'll call it "doing your research."

When deciding whether or not you're ready to give someone the title of your boyfriend or girlfriend, you need to make sure that a little bit of research is done on the person just to ensure that there aren't any surprises waiting for you in the future.

A surprise can be anything from finding out that the girl has experimented with the same sex or finding out that your guy had sex with half of the females at your church. Whatever the situation is, you may want to know about it before you two decide to go public and partake in Cuffing Season: The perfect time to be in a relationship.

Some ways that you can conduct this "research" is to ask around.

People gossip and they don't feel bad about doing so; so as long as the conversation is breezy and carefree, you might be able to get something out of it. When asking about someone's past, you never want to seem like you're gossiping, but instead, you're merely inquiring about someone for no apparent reason.

Wrong Way: "What do you know about Susan? Is she a hoe?"
Right Way: "I saw that girl Susan today... I've never heard anything about her. I wonder what's her deal?"

Going through a persons facebook tagged photos can also help someone get a good idea of that persons past. Granted, some photos could have been deleted as well as untagged but most of the time, a photo that seems innocent can be a link to something else.

Lets say you see a photo of Brian and a mysterious girl in a public place. The two of them are smiling and obviously having a good time. They aren't touching, there is no sign of sexual tension there, and it's pretty obvious that the two of them are just friends. (Or so it seems)

Taking it one step further by clicking on the girl and checking her photos, you might get lucky and come across some more photos of her and Brian (that he is conveniently not tagged in) taking their "friendship" to a new level.

When digging up someones past, you're bound to find something that you may not be able to deal with. It is up to you on whether you are willing to look past it or just give up altogether.

Keeping in mind that everyone does have a past (including yourself) which makes discovering those "hidden secrets" a bit easier and it helps you to come to terms with a fact that all women already know:

There is no such thing as a perfect person and this especially goes for men.